I'm one of those people who take initiatives from others. A little co-dependent at the risk of sounding redundant. So,needless to say my life being pregnant was great! aside from the indigestion so bad I felt like hurling every time I smelled unions....People always were wondering "how I felt" and whether it was a "boy" or "girl." I was surrounded by people who loved seeing a pregnant lady glow. ( a co-dependent person's dream) Little did I know that postpartum was going to be one of life's hellish challenges (to say the least!) I had the baby April 20th and ever since then, my life has changed.( I mean...really changed!!) They tell you that your life changes after the baby is born, but you never comprehend the magnitude of that statement until he or she pops out!
Aside from feeling like my marriage needed mending, I noticed that I still look like "Kristy Alley now." I'm so freaking tired of the love handles, double chin, and inner tube. (not to mention the lunch-lady arms) Yes, Teresa...I have them too! UH! Now I have a little one to run after because VERY soon he will be walking...I mean, RUNNING! So I've decided to take innitative from my friend Teresa and start a blog to try and aid this cause.
My Mom has done an excellent job loosing weight, now why can't I have that "inner stength" to do the same? She is so hard on herself and still wants to loose more. When we stand next to each other, she looks like half of me! Do you know how that feels? I think my problem goes deeper-psychologically. I have emotional ties to food. Looking at TV ads or talking about food makes me think I'm hungry. When in reality, I'm not. Real hunger is when your stomach sounds like a Costa Rican male howler monkey warning people not to come too close. It feels like getting whacked in the head by Rays baseball player, Evan Longoria's bat. Just blogging about food makes me feel hungry... Every time I complain about my weight, people around me say I'm "negative." I have to be hard on myself, but people around me should be hard on me as well. Mabye I have been in a "negative slump" right now...I just need to get back to work soon before I go nuts!
I also need encouragement to stay on track. That is hard when your husband eats your favorite food, "Chick-fil-a" in front of you or orders it through the drive through when your on the phone with him and you have to listen to the fact he wants it with mayonaise and no pickels! I'm breastfeeding still so you can imagine the emotional train wreck I experience day to day. I'm afriad if I stop breastfeeding I will gain back some weight. So I want to continue breastfeeding since it helps loose weight and stop eating so much. This week I lost 5 pounds by closing my mouth more during the day. Replacing a meal with a salad or a slim fast shake. Any thoughts or encouragement would help here....Remember, I need support!!! and thanks for reading....
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas A. Edison
